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BARNUM: | <noinclude>{{Lyrics for|American Humbug}}</noinclude> | ||
Let me read this manifest | BARNUM:<br> | ||
Let me read this manifest<br> | |||
What is worst and what is best? | What is worst and what is best? <br> | ||
What is it that could be hidden in the belly of this groaning ship?<br> | |||
What is it that could be hidden in the belly of this groaning ship? | <br> | ||
All broken biscuits and china cups<br> | |||
Perfumes and parchments<br> | |||
Canvases and tweeds<br> | |||
All broken biscuits and china cups | A length of hemp and a sack of hops<br> | ||
A quantity of fine oak beams<br> | |||
Perfumes and parchments | A box of bulbs and seeds<br> | ||
Eleven of the rarest orchids still living under glass<br> | |||
Canvases and tweeds | A quantity of Belgian lace<br> | ||
Twenty phials of dragon's blood<br> | |||
A length of hemp and a sack of hops | Pictures and periodicals<br> | ||
Tin tubes and rubber plants<br> | |||
A quantity of fine oak beams | Pamphlets and iron jackets<br> | ||
Cherries and immigrants<br> | |||
A box of bulbs and seeds | Stamped and sealed documents<br> | ||
Red velvet drapes<br> | |||
Eleven of the rarest orchids still living under glass | A range of leather harnesses<br> | ||
<br> | |||
A quantity of Belgian lace | Some silver plate that tarnishes<br> | ||
Two barrels of mercury<br> | |||
Twenty phials of dragon's blood | One barrel of the cold black earth<br> | ||
Who will take this string of pearls and tell what they are worth?<br> | |||
Pictures and periodicals | <br> | ||
Coloured ribbons and dried flowers<br> | |||
Tin tubes and rubber plants | A roll of printed Chinese silks<br> | ||
Fourteen pairs of soft kid gloves<br> | |||
Pamphlets and iron jackets | The finest cork is Portuguese<br> | ||
Tins of mussels and Spanish anchovies<br> | |||
Cherries and immigrants | <br> | ||
Cases of vinegar<br> | |||
Stamped and sealed documents | Vermouth and opium<br> | ||
Bottles of German hock<br> | |||
Red velvet drapes | Finest French cognac<br> | ||
<br> | |||
A range of leather harnesses | Goat's skin and peacock plumes<br> | ||
Fine purple twine<br> | |||
The chimes from six grandfather clocks<br> | |||
Some silver plate that tarnishes | A mynah bird that sometimes talks<br> | ||
Two barrels of mercury and one barrel of the cold black earth?<br> | |||
Two barrels of mercury | Who will take this string of pearls and tell me what it is worth?<br> | ||
<br> | |||
One barrel of the cold black earth | In among the motley and the mess<br> | ||
There must be one precious cargo<br> | |||
Who will take this string of pearls and tell what they are worth? | She will be my triumph with the first rank of society<br> | ||
I bring you, singer of great renown, of purest piety<br> | |||
<br> | |||
Coloured ribbons and dried flowers | The crowned heads of Europe are walking in a trance<br> | ||
Their glance is dimmed as if trimmed by some sleeping drug or draft<br> | |||
A roll of printed Chinese silks | Accolades and faint applause are no match for catch sprung by the King of American Humbug<br> | ||
<br> | |||
Fourteen pairs of soft kid gloves | Frauds and freaks walk incognito<br> | ||
Curiosities that seem to speak<br> | |||
The finest cork is Portuguese | Now from the man who brought you:<br> | ||
<br> | |||
Tins of mussels and Spanish anchovies | The Fiecee Mermaid!!!<br> | ||
Made from a monkey's torso and a desiccated fishtail<br> | |||
<br> | |||
Cases of vinegar | George Washington's nursemaid!!!<br> | ||
Who was really a blind and penniless slave<br> | |||
Vermouth and opium | I buried the bill of sale<br> | ||
<br> | |||
Bottles of German hock | Or the tiny Tom who was General Thumb<br> | ||
Who rode in a coach and Shetland Four through each and every court<br> | |||
Finest French cognac | <br> | ||
The New York throng are rarely wrong<br> | |||
They are not taken in by hoaxers and fakers<br> | |||
Goat's skin and peacock plumes | Or bootleggers who end their days as kingmakers<br> | ||
<br> | |||
Fine purple twine | Jenny sailed from Liverpool having thrilled both one and all inside the Philharmonic Hall<br> | ||
Victoria and her German cousins by the gross and by the dozens wept into their ermine robes as sainted Jenny sailed around the globe<br> | |||
The chimes from six grandfather clocks | <br> | ||
The cheers became hysterical and frantic as she descended from the S.S. Atlantic<br> | |||
A mynah bird that sometimes talks | The multitude called loud and long<br> | ||
Almost seven thousand strong<br> | |||
Two barrels of mercury and one barrel of the cold black earth? | To hear her first American song<br> | ||
<br> | |||
Who will take this string of pearls and tell me what it is worth? | How, but by trickery alone could so many hear her silver tones?<br> | ||
<br> | |||
Twenty Turkish strongmen will exhale to waft the breeze unto the ears of every swell and hale<br> | |||
In among the motley and the mess | 20,000 butterlies will beat their wings until they die to send Italian melodies way up into the galleries<br> | ||
30,000 silk worms spin a web of gauze as her voice soars high above the wild applause<br> | |||
There must be one precious cargo | 50,000 glow worms or more will illuminate the curtain that will rise upon each encore<br> | ||
<br> | |||
She will be my triumph with the first rank of society | Sold for 625 dollars to Mr. Ossian F. Dodge, the auctioneer hollers<br> | ||
<br> | |||
I bring you, singer of great renown, of purest piety | So, gentle folk beg to consider, tickets to the highest bidder<br> | ||
Pay once more and pay no less<br> | |||
"This way to the egress"<br> | |||
The crowned heads of Europe are walking in a trance | Find yourself where you began<br> | ||
In what seems a tiny span<br> | |||
Their glance is dimmed as if trimmed by some sleeping drug or draft | The study of this lizard-like man...<br> | ||
Accolades and faint applause are no match for catch sprung by the King of American Humbug | |||
Frauds and freaks walk incognito | |||
Curiosities that seem to speak | |||
Now from the man who brought you: | |||
The Fiecee Mermaid!!! | |||
Made from a monkey's torso and a desiccated fishtail | |||
George Washington's nursemaid!!! | |||
Who was really a blind and penniless slave | |||
I buried the bill of sale | |||
Or the tiny Tom who was General Thumb | |||
Who rode in a coach and Shetland Four through each and every court | |||
The New York throng are rarely wrong | |||
They are not taken in by hoaxers and fakers | |||
Or bootleggers who end their days as kingmakers | |||
Jenny sailed from Liverpool having thrilled both one and all inside the Philharmonic Hall | |||
Victoria and her German cousins by the gross and by the dozens wept into their ermine robes as sainted Jenny sailed around the globe | |||
The cheers became hysterical and frantic as she descended from the S.S. Atlantic | |||
The multitude called loud and long | |||
Almost seven thousand strong | |||
To hear her first American song | |||
How, but by trickery alone could so many hear her silver tones? | |||
Twenty Turkish strongmen will exhale to waft the breeze unto the ears of every swell and hale | |||
20,000 butterlies will beat their wings until they die to send Italian melodies way up into the galleries | |||
30,000 silk worms spin a web of gauze as her voice soars high above the wild applause | |||
50,000 glow worms or more will illuminate the curtain that will rise upon each encore | |||
Sold for 625 dollars to Mr. Ossian F. Dodge, the auctioneer hollers | |||
So, gentle folk beg to consider, tickets to the highest bidder | |||
Pay once more and pay no less | |||
"This way to the egress" | |||
Find yourself where you began | |||
In what seems a tiny span | |||
The study of this lizard-like man... |
Revision as of 16:09, 20 May 2009
American Humbug
BARNUM:
Let me read this manifest
What is worst and what is best?
What is it that could be hidden in the belly of this groaning ship?
All broken biscuits and china cups
Perfumes and parchments
Canvases and tweeds
A length of hemp and a sack of hops
A quantity of fine oak beams
A box of bulbs and seeds
Eleven of the rarest orchids still living under glass
A quantity of Belgian lace
Twenty phials of dragon's blood
Pictures and periodicals
Tin tubes and rubber plants
Pamphlets and iron jackets
Cherries and immigrants
Stamped and sealed documents
Red velvet drapes
A range of leather harnesses
Some silver plate that tarnishes
Two barrels of mercury
One barrel of the cold black earth
Who will take this string of pearls and tell what they are worth?
Coloured ribbons and dried flowers
A roll of printed Chinese silks
Fourteen pairs of soft kid gloves
The finest cork is Portuguese
Tins of mussels and Spanish anchovies
Cases of vinegar
Vermouth and opium
Bottles of German hock
Finest French cognac
Goat's skin and peacock plumes
Fine purple twine
The chimes from six grandfather clocks
A mynah bird that sometimes talks
Two barrels of mercury and one barrel of the cold black earth?
Who will take this string of pearls and tell me what it is worth?
In among the motley and the mess
There must be one precious cargo
She will be my triumph with the first rank of society
I bring you, singer of great renown, of purest piety
The crowned heads of Europe are walking in a trance
Their glance is dimmed as if trimmed by some sleeping drug or draft
Accolades and faint applause are no match for catch sprung by the King of American Humbug
Frauds and freaks walk incognito
Curiosities that seem to speak
Now from the man who brought you:
The Fiecee Mermaid!!!
Made from a monkey's torso and a desiccated fishtail
George Washington's nursemaid!!!
Who was really a blind and penniless slave
I buried the bill of sale
Or the tiny Tom who was General Thumb
Who rode in a coach and Shetland Four through each and every court
The New York throng are rarely wrong
They are not taken in by hoaxers and fakers
Or bootleggers who end their days as kingmakers
Jenny sailed from Liverpool having thrilled both one and all inside the Philharmonic Hall
Victoria and her German cousins by the gross and by the dozens wept into their ermine robes as sainted Jenny sailed around the globe
The cheers became hysterical and frantic as she descended from the S.S. Atlantic
The multitude called loud and long
Almost seven thousand strong
To hear her first American song
How, but by trickery alone could so many hear her silver tones?
Twenty Turkish strongmen will exhale to waft the breeze unto the ears of every swell and hale
20,000 butterlies will beat their wings until they die to send Italian melodies way up into the galleries
30,000 silk worms spin a web of gauze as her voice soars high above the wild applause
50,000 glow worms or more will illuminate the curtain that will rise upon each encore
Sold for 625 dollars to Mr. Ossian F. Dodge, the auctioneer hollers
So, gentle folk beg to consider, tickets to the highest bidder
Pay once more and pay no less
"This way to the egress"
Find yourself where you began
In what seems a tiny span
The study of this lizard-like man...