Elvis Costello: Stand-up comedian?

[the_platypus]

So I finally got the chance to listen to one of the Costello&Nieve CDs and found myself laughing hysterically at the German journalist story during Little Atoms. This got me thinking, what are some of the funnier stories you've heard Elvis tell on stage throughout the years?

[Dr. Luther]

"Look out, music lovers -- I'm going to play the piano."

[Dr. Luther]

From KSAN interview -- the afternoon of the Feb. 7th 1978 show in Berkeley:
(I haven't heard it since that day -- but it went something like this...)


Caller:
"How many instruments do you play, Elvis ?"

Costello:
"Some would say that I don't play any."

[The imposter]

loads of funny tales in God's Comic monologues...

Rumsfeld at the 'all you can eat' buffet
The Swedish Escapologist
God's musical tastes and depiction of Heaven...

I was listening to the tale of The Pet Shop Boys recently, Oxford 94 I think. Goes something like this..

The guy from the Pet Shop Boys phoned me recently, must 've been the quiet one,cos I couldn't hear what he was saying. Said he wanted to cover one of my songs..He said "Elvis" I said.."uh uh" anyway he got confused and they went away and covered "Always on My Mind" So guess I'm to blame for that. Saw them on TV the other day, playing 'Go West" a big production number featuring backing singers that looked like Welsh miners, thanks to the government there were a few lying around with nothing to do...

Also like the comment about The Prince's Trust. "If he took his hand out of our pockets for long enough and looked in his own, he wouldn't need to raise any more money.."

The "Life size. Presedential action figure". "Junior" Unique in the world of action figures in that he does.. NOTHING except go on holiday.

[Neil.]

Elvis does an amusing little anecdote here. Love his impersonation of the posh BBC announcer's voice!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNobxebBEtg

Neil

[Mikeh]

When I saw Elvis on his first solo tour in Harrogate in 1984, he commented that the theatre had displayed the words "Elvis Solo" on the marquee outside. "I wonder if he's any relation to Napoleon Solo" then went straight into Man Called Uncle.

I thought that was rather funny.

[Paul B]

I've heard him tell so many funny stories live I'd have to think hard to remember and choose but the one on a recording that makes me smile the most is his introduction to Blame It On Cain at the My Aim Is True anniversary show (there was a link to MP3s of it a while ago here). Hilarious ramble about appalling sleeping arrangements on the floor where he's given fearsome advice NOT to turn the light on if he hears or feels a rat scratching around nearby in the night. The story spends ages getting to climax, he suspects there's a rat, turns the light on...(pause for effect)...'and that's when I wrote this song.' Bam - into Blame It on Cain. Priceless. So many of his live releases miss out his chat - not least one I was at, the gig with Bill Frissell that resulted in the live CD Deep Dead Blue (by the way my then 8 year old son was in the front row (we must've booked early) with me and fell asleep - if you whack up the volume between songs I swear you can hear him snoring!)

The first EC gig I saw was one of the 'Month of Sundays' at the London Palladium on the Spike tour (I was the wrong generation, I came in at KOA). He did that lovely gag in Gods Comic that he used to do lots of variants on: after the line 'I should have given the world to the monkeys' he burst into The Monkees song with the lines 'Well I saw her face / And now I'm a believer' then jumped straight back to 'Now I'm dead, now I'm dead, now I'm dead, now I'm deeeeaaaad'. Juxtaposition is an art and, as so often, Elvis has it.