Why I F***ing hate modern living!!

SoLikeCandy · Post by **SoLikeCandy** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 2:55 pm

I love this board.

That's all I really wanted to say.

Goody2Shoes · Post by **Goody2Shoes** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 3:15 pm

oily slick wrote:you're not that babe from that CSI show who used to be on Providence are you?

No, but good guess. I'm actually Ed Begley, Jr. Or am I Rob Morrow? Alan Alda?

bobster · Post by **bobster** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 3:19 pm

Cope --

I'm amazed you didn't die of a heart attack, I sure would have. At least now I know I've been wise to just for the hormones to unhormone all these years. I guess patience can be a virtue.

Hope you and little Cope are feeling better.

Mr. Monk --

As someone who regularly screams at credit card and telephone company employees, let's just say I feel your pain (though I prefer it to feeling Cope's pain!)

Jackson Monk · Post by **Jackson Monk** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 4:19 pm

Pretty much like SLC, I had to post to say that this board has made me laugh more in the past 48 hours than I have laughed in some time.

Cope - Apparently there have been less than 300 penile fractures recorded - yours just had to be one!

I sincerely apologise for laughing at something that has terrified every man I've mentioned it to. Get hard soon.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 12:36 am

A practical solution...

Copenhagen Fan · Post by **Copenhagen Fan** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:34 am

I went to the doctor yesterday and he claims that I just ruptured a vein and it was not a fracture. I even got a woody last night while dreaming so all hope is not lost. The good thing is that now my girlfriend is obsessed with my cock, epsecially when I explain that it could be months before I'm back in action and that I am very sad that my manhood is destroyed.

The sympathy and neediness gig is almost better than sex itself.

King Hoarse · Post by **King Hoarse** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:53 am

Months - ha! How I would wish for months. Little King is permanently ill with a rare modern cousin to leprosy, I kid you not. It's neither VD (usually turns up on the lower back of babies and old ladies) nor contagious and yet oh so disabling. At least it has a contracting rather than subtracting effect. And I'm writing this to let you all know how lucky you are to have all your limbs.

Oh, and I was born without a sense of smelling too. And bent pinkies. I am writing this to let you all know how lucky you are to have both your pinkies straight (and to be able to smell all your limbs).

Gillibeanz · Post by **Gillibeanz** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 5:46 am

Get well soon Cope!

stormwarning · Post by **stormwarning** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:05 am

From Nikkei News:
Monday, February 28, 2005

Yahoo Japan To Buy 55% Stake In ValueCommerce For Y10.9bn

TOKYO (Dow Jones)--Yahoo Japan Corp. (4689) said Monday it will carry
out a
tender offer to buy a 54.85% stake in ValueCommerce Co. for Y10.94
billion.

ValueCommerce, a Tokyo-based Internet marketing company, said it has
agreed
to the tender offer from Yahoo. ValueCommerce is capitalized at Y645
million
and has 150 group employees.

Yahoo said it will buy 41,971 ValueCommerce shares at the price of
Y260,571

Valuecommerce is my previous company. Thinking it would sink without trace, I left and forfeited my stock options. I had 16 warrants (possibly more) before the 10-1 split

so I passed up 16 x 10 x 260,571 = 41691360 yen, or 399, 763.72 USD

Still, I'm haven't been so dumb as to rupture my own prick.
Yet.

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:08 am

Ouch, Stormy. Better get your ass to the states quick and forget that ever happened!

Otis Westinghouse · Post by **Otis Westinghouse** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:18 pm

It's only money, you can't take it with you, whereas your member will be there in the afterlife. Some story, though.

King: that's some list! My granny had no sense of smell. Just make sure you never leave a gas source on unwittingly in the house. Mind you, that's less likely now than it was in 1966.

King Hoarse · Post by **King Hoarse** » Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm

I have a gas stove/cooker, so it could happen, and has. I noticed the headache and turned it off, and it's a good thing we don't smoke indoors.

And speaking of Indoor Fireworks, I've only been a leper since last autumn so at least I have many years of painfree sex to look back on. Now if I could just develop my masochistic side...

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 5:07 pm

you know, i broke mine clean off once. fortunately it grew back.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:05 am

oily slick wrote:you know, i broke mine clean off once. fortunately it grew back.

What was penis envy like?

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:00 pm

well, it was quick, see, like in Men in Black when tommy lee jones shoots the head off the weapons dealer and it grows right back. but for about 8 seconds i felt like the next boyfriend of cope's ex.

SweetPear · Post by **SweetPear** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 3:16 pm

So this is what I've been missing by not reading the annex?

Oh my, King Hoarse! And Cope, as well. I really do feel your pain.

I thank God everyday for all my working parts after recently being rudely awakened by a diagnosis of breast cancer and having to face the reality of possibly losing one of my breasts. (Not an easy thing for someone who had the nickname Melons in high school.)

I still have both of my melons, although they did have to slice one up a bit. We just take so much for granted as we go about our busy lives getting caught up in all the pressure and the insanity. I'll tell you, strange as it sounds, having cancer is the worst thing and the best thing that has ever happened to me.
It's hard to change, ya know it's not like you can just drop out of life. (Well, a little JD can help you do that for a while.) But I do look at things from a different perspective now.

Get well guys.

ice nine · Post by **ice nine** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:09 pm

I didn't know Lorena Bobbit was an EC fan.

Otis Westinghouse · Post by **Otis Westinghouse** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 5:16 pm

Penile calamities inspire plenty of response, but Melons seem to have shut everyone up (and I was expecting someone to have made a pun on 'sweet pair'!). Seriously though, sorry you've had to suffer that, and it's brave of you to share it with us here. I know it must have been a horrendous ordeal, but it's also uplifting to read that it's also the best thing that has happened to you. That different perspective is very valuable, and the moreso for being hard come by. I've experienced a little of that perspective through seeing a close friend die way before his time through cancer in the last year, and for quite a while after I had an almost constant sense of luck that I was still here, and that any birthday was a blessing and not a curse, and I still feel some of that, but moreso now just an immense sense of sadness and loss.

SweetPear · Post by **SweetPear** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 5:53 pm

Thank you, Otis, for your kindness.

Yes! I'm very surprized also. I thought the melons reference would have gone over a little bigger. I guess I misjudged our members......they're apparently much more mature than I imagined.

Post by **DrSpooky** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 7:39 pm

I wouldn't bet on that.

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 9:29 pm

thank you otis. the most deafening silence i ever recall around here actually. i had not forgotten; part of my procrastination was caused by the complexity of the response i imagined. of course it needed to be gentle (like a man could specifically understand), but i would not be able to pass up the "sweet pair" possibility. sensitivity already an issue, i wished to add in that i can't remember many of your faces, but it seems a long time ago there was a shot of about 3/4 of sweetpear's puss and she is pretty swell above the shoulders too. i contemplated chastising her for being sympathetic to cope and hoarse, but not me. so it becomes a too humor-oriented a big mess and blah blah blah. the only perhaps defensible excuse i have for my reticence may be that everyone's silence led me to believe everyone might already know this and i had somehow missed it, so i didn't want to look like more of a dope. anyyyyyway...

indeed glad you are doing well sweetpear and i hope it stays so. it seems like you were mostly gone from here for many months so i would assume you may have been dealing with this during that time. my father died of cancer. i had a scare once and lost 15 pounds from the mental agony. cheers to your newfound perspective.

SweetPear · Post by **SweetPear** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 11:12 pm

Oily~
Shame on me for my oversight. I believe I chuckled out loud at your comment not even imagining (well, yes, imagining, hence the chuckling) it to be true. Please accept my apologies and I hope you're feeling like your old self again.

You're very kind, OS, and I appreciate that, thank you.

I believe it's my slothfulness (elaborated on in another thread) that has brought me back to making an out of the ordinary number of posts lately. I seem to either have no time or all the time in the world.

Copenhagen Fan · Post by **Copenhagen Fan** » Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:00 pm

Just for the record...my johnson is doing fine and dandy now. But believe it or not now I have something else. I've been dizzy for 10 days and feel like shit and been blowing chunks. The doctor has no clue what is wrong with me. I keep thinking it must be payback brain cancer to pay me back for all my dirty deals............................"see you in the next life, wake me up for meals".

Gillibeanz · Post by **Gillibeanz** » Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:06 pm

SWEETPEAR: Im a little late on this thread - only just read up on the latest here. Im so glad everthing is well for you now it must have been a nightmare for you and your family. Something like that really does make you put your house in order and look at your priorities differently! Stay well and look after yourself.

COPE: Get well soon AGAIN!!!

so lacklustre · Post by **so lacklustre** » Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:14 pm

Cope - Stop spinning round in circles. That'll stop the dizziness.

Dr Slacklust